Key to Good Relationships


Part I-The Theory

 This information is taken directly from Chapter 1 of Relationship Power

 The Key to all good relationships

Would you like to significantly improve your relationships? You can! First, by understanding that the key element in all good relationships is making the other person feel good about herself1, and then by gaining insight into what I call your “Beast”. (We all have one). Your Beast is that emotional part of your brain which may very often be on the prowl to “feel good,” even though the action taken to feel good may harm you and others. You will learn a lot more about your Beast in Chapter 6.

When you understand these things, you should be well on the way to healing your problem relationships and making your good ones even stronger. You will have the power to make life better for all involved; this includes those inside and outside of your direct relationships. The positive effects will help you win and keep love, as well as increase your ability to do well in your career, make you healthier as a result of less stress, and finally make you a happier person.

 1 For the purposes of this book the words him and her, he and she, and himself and herself, will be used interchangeably. – Ronald Bibace

 This book will give you the knowledge and tools to identify the power your particular beast has over you and what triggers your beast. You’ll learn how to pacify your beast as well as the beast of those with whom you come in contact. You will have acquired what I refer to as “relationship power.” A bad relationship can bring out the beast in anyone. By taming your beast, your relationships will become stronger, more fulfilling, and positive. Your eyes will be opened to the possibilities of how different your life can be once your relationships are healed and maintained at a high positive level.

 My theory in a nutshell :

The Theory is expressed in the Ronald Bibace Theory of Personality2, (which I also call: The Ronald Bibace Universal Theory of Human Behavior. My name is pronounced Bee-Base):

All human behavior past survival is motivated by the desire to feel good about oneself.

The Theory’s application to relationships calls for the following:

 • Making the other person “feel good about him/ herself”.

Doing that requires three things:

• Learning how to make another person feel good about him/herself

• Learning about the obstacle of the “two personalities” in each of us which often prevents us from doing so

• Learning how to overcome that obstacle

 2 Personality Theory is what psychologists call ‘a general theory of behavior’. It is intended to develop a scientifically defensible model or view of human behavior.  -Relationship Power

A word of caution: There are critical differences between making a person ‘feel good about him/herself’ and ‘making a person feel good’ or making a person ‘feel happy’. Briefly, doing ‘bad things’ like overeating or drinking too much, can generally make us feel bad but can sometimes make us feel good or feel happy, but only temporarily. Doing ‘good things’ makes us feel good about ourselves for a much longer time.

 The key to all good relationships

 The key element to good relationships that you will find echoed throughout the pages of this book, is the fact that good relationships are dependent on one thing and one thing only which is:

The desire and ability in one person to make another feel good about him/herself.

Sometimes this happens naturally or with little effort. Often it requires a lot of work. It is the key element in all good relationships you now have, as most of you are very likely to discover when you do the ‘self test’ below.

The idea is simple, but do not let its apparent simplicity and ‘obviousness’ fool you. There is more to it than meets the eye. Nor is the application simple. That said it is a far easier and effective concept to understand and apply than anything else available of which I am aware. Teaching you how to understand this idea and how it works, and then guiding you to applying it in your relationships is the main goal of this book.

 “Good things” as defined by our peer group.  -Ronald Bibace

By mastering this and the principles outlined earlier you will not only substantially improve your relationships, but you will also become a much happier and more successful person.